Rewind — the teaching platform built on your church’s own preaching

The big idea

Forgiveness is not something we earn or feel our way into — it's a choice we make because we were forgiven a debt we could never repay.

Forgiveness is only needed when it's undeserved, and it's freely offered because Christ freely offered it to us. Pastor Joshua walks through what forgiveness is not (denying, forgetting, controlling, reconciling) and what it is (debt-free, ongoing, undeserving, freeing), calling the church to receive God's forgiveness first, then extend it to others and to themselves.

A story from life

Pastor Joshua Paul recounts a volatile moment in his first Christmas as a newlywed — punching a picture frame over a moved Christmas tree — and his wife's unexpected forgiveness, which he frames as a picture of Christ's grace

Point 1 of 6

You can't give what you don't have

Pastor Joshua opens with a personal story from his first Christmas as a newlywed, when he punched a picture frame in anger after coming home to find the Christmas tree moved. His wife forgave him without him earning it, teaching him that he couldn't offer peace or grace because he wasn't carrying it himself.

Point 2 of 6

Forgiveness is rooted in what Christ has done for us, not in what happened to us

Reading Colossians 3:13, he points out the text never conditions forgiveness on an apology, deserving it, or feeling ready — it simply says forgive, because we were forgiven first.

Forgiveness is only needed when it's undeserved

— Joshua Paul

You cannot earn forgiveness. It has to be freely given

— Joshua Paul

Point 3 of 6

Forgiveness is not denying, forgetting, controlling, or reconciling

He unpacks four common misunderstandings: forgiveness doesn't mean pretending something didn't happen, erasing it, controlling the narrative or waiting for an apology, or requiring reconciliation with the offender. He quotes another pastor's line that if a cycle is predictable, it's preventable, since healing can't happen while still living in the cycle.

Point 4 of 6

Forgiveness is debt-free, ongoing, undeserving, and freeing

Using Colossians 2:13, he shows God didn't reduce our debt but canceled it entirely. Using Matthew 18:21-22 and the Peter story, he shows forgiveness has no numerical limit since Jesus paid it eternally. Using Titus 3:5 he shows forgiveness is mercy, not a reward, and using Matthew 6:14 and modern research from Stanford, Johns Hopkins, and University of Wisconsin, he shows unforgiveness harms us while forgiveness frees us.

if the cycle is predictable, then the cycle is preventable

— Joshua Paul

The extent to which though we choose to be unforgiving often reveals the extent to which we don't understand forgiveness ourselves

— Joshua Paul

Illustration

Studies from Stanford University, Johns Hopkins, and the University of Wisconsin correlating unforgiveness with higher stress and illness, and forgiveness with better mental health and well-being

Point 5 of 6

Jesus modeled forgiveness as a choice, not a feeling, from the cross

He points to Luke 23, where Jesus, while being mocked and killed, prayed 'Father, forgive them,' proving forgiveness is a decision made even without the feeling of readiness.

forgiveness isn't just biblical, it's beneficial

— Joshua Paul

Point 6 of 6

His own story of tragedy, counseling, and prison ministry showed him forgiveness sets you free

He shares that in 2017 his family faced a devastating loss he didn't handle well, leading him to a week-long counseling intensive he hated but that changed him. The next month, God placed him in prison ministry, where he realized he had no choice but to extend the same forgiveness to others that Jesus had extended to him.

A story from life

Pastor Joshua Paul describes a devastating family crisis in August 2017, eight months of struggling to cope, a week-long faith-based counseling intensive in Florida, and a subsequent prison ministry experience in April 2018 that crystallized his understanding of forgiveness

Take it into your week

Pastor Joshua frames the response as three moves: receive forgiveness from God, give forgiveness to others, and give forgiveness to yourself.

Application

Receive forgiveness from God first
Recognize forgiveness has nothing to do with your own goodness or deeds; it's mercy alone, so start by simply receiving it if you never have.
Give forgiveness to others who hurt you
Choose to stop paying back evil with evil and let go of what someone owes you, even though it does not mean trusting them again or pretending what happened was okay.
Give forgiveness to yourself
If you've mentally accepted God's forgiveness but still carry guilt in your heart, choose to stop replaying what God has already put behind you, since there is no condemnation for those in Christ.
Ask yourself the hard questions
Sit with the questions: what are you still holding on to, who do you need to forgive, what do you need to release, and where do you need to forgive yourself?

Keep going

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